Publisher in Ugly Neologism Shock

HB: An agent who represents a client of ours is hawking something round at the moment - an intriguing memoir, but not easily classifiable. One publisher commented candidly:

"whilst I thought that ____ was a compelling character with a very unique tale, I felt that as a book, it fell somehwat between the gaps, and with the market requiring such specific genrification, it would just be too hard. Wish you all the best with it, but I'm afraid it's not one for me."

[Genrification? Very unique? Publishers today! Honestly! Splutter. Cough. Scents of tweed and pipe tobacco, sounds as of choking on whisky.]

But the point made hammers home one of the themes of this blog: namely, original is not good. If only ____ had not been a compelling character or (better still) had not had a uniquely unique story, all would have been well. So the rules again please:

All commercial fiction needs to be like Dan Brown

All children's fiction needs to be like JK Rowling

All women's fiction needs to be like Katie Price

All literary fiction can be no more experimental than ... ooh, I don't know, Antony Trollope

And thrillers, please (see posts below), must always always feature SAS guys.

How to self-publish and live to tell the tale

HB: On the whole, our advice to those wanting to self-publish is (i) by all means do it, if you want to print up some books for friends and family, otherwise (ii) just burn your money - it's more fun and you can warm your toes.

I don't think that advice is about to change, but this article offers a coolly rational view of the whole process, albeit omitting the punchline - whether the author's book actually sold. We're going to be offering a self-publishing workshop next year, with Jeremy Thompson of Matador offering his take on the process. It'll be extremely interesting to see what comes of that.

Meantime, in case I don't post again before Xmas, then a happy Christmas to one and all. This article of mine (printed last year) explains how the British invented Christmas. A bit of a stretch, maybe, but what the hell. Let's credit Charles Dickens, raise our glasses, and Toast Napoleon. Cheers! Prost! and sto lat!

Stop all the clocks

HB: Big news. Some sad news and some happy news all in one.

The BAD NEWS is that Zanna - who's been the heart & soul of the WW since she started a couple of years ago now - is leaving us. She and husband Jonny and their delightful three year old Willow are all off down to Dorset. Truth is, much as I hate the fact that Zanna's going, she'll be much happier with Dorset's laidback, more rustic way of life than Oxfordshire's rather phoney version of the same thing.

I'll miss her. So will Tommy. So will all our editors, with whom Zanna's worked so well over the years. And so will everyone who's ever called this office and been darn lucky to have someone as sympathetic and committed as Zanna on the other end of the phone or email.

So much for the sadness. The GOOD NEWS is that Zanna is pregnant and has just learned - wait for it - that's she been blessed with twins. As you can imagine that's happy news, if just a tad on the 'Gordon Bennett!' end of the happiness spectrum. Fingers crossed that all continues to go well from here on. I'm sure it will - and I'll keep y'all posted.